35 years with the SAME man and still going ...

Oh, this is so much fun, I get to write about my husband and he is on the other side of the world in the Caribbean, so far away! He is instructing boating classes, the poor soul. He has always said to me, "are you ever going to write about me in your blog, if you do let them know how wonderful it is to be married to me?" Well, let the party begin!  He is long gone and I am at my computer and I am feeling inspired. Yes, I have been married to my dear, patient husband for 35 years! Can you believe that, I cannot possibly be that old.


Tim and I were married in another lifetime in northern British Columbia. Oh yes, we were in love but we both were so young and naive. We thought how simple is this, we just get married, live happily ever after and ride off into the sunset on white horses. Right, all you married folks out there know how that goes! Shortly after we were married, Tim came home one evening and I was all dolled up ready to "hit the little northern town" but Tim said he did not want to go out in the evenings because he was too tired from working long days. Well, shut the door!! No one had told me that my husband would not be willing to do everything I wanted to do. So the battle between our "wills" began...


Often times I had heard that you need to meet each other 50/50 or two halves make a whole. But I long ago realized that just wasn't true. In order to be a good partner you need to be WHOLE all by your lonesome. In many of our years of marriage I have not been 100% whole or for that matter Tim either. When you are not whole as a person you look to your partner to "complete you", and guess what people, we are the only ones who can make ourselves whole. No one else can possibly complete us. There were years in our marriage that I thought we will never make it, the stress of children, (love you Trisha and TJ), life, money and how we spent our time, those challenges seemed insurmountable. Yes, there were days I wanted to walk out the door and never come back and I am certain Tim felt the same way. We had a few "knock down drag out"s because we were both SO very stubborn. But somehow through tooth and nail we have made it. Both of us have mellowed out and there is no JOY in winning, just to win anymore. The glorious revelation is this; when you work on yourself rather than the other person, life just gets a heck of a lot better.


As women, we want to feel safe, safe physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally with our husbands.We want to know that they "have our backs", (poor Sandra Bullock). These last few years I can honestly say they have been the BEST of our lives, (still love you TJ and Trisha, those were good years mostly, too). Tim and I are each other's best friend. We are satisfied with simple pleasures in life and I feel 100% safe. Did it come easy, absolutely not, but is it worth it YES!

Let me tell you how wonderful my husband really is; he has loved me through THICK and thin, literally, (well not too much thin)! He loved me when I was at my top weight of 275 lbs (ashamed, but not hiding a thing from my blog friends). I have a gift that I want to give Tim wholeheartedly and that is a thin and healthy wife. As I continue on my journey of self worth there are some amazing changes taking place inside. When you truly feel your own self worth you suddenly want to give more to others, it's as if your eyes are opened. You want to be kinder, more compassionate and empathetic with everyone you meet. I look at my husband, my children and my granddaughter and I realize the best gift I can give them is to demonstrate my  love for them by continuing on my journey to a healthy weight. That way, we can enjoy life's blessings together for years to come. By the way Tim (cuz I know you are reading this), I love you forever and always, thanks for standing by me through thick and soon to be THIN!