LOVE this quote by Thomas Edison! I also say to myself, "pick yourself up, dust your butt off and try, try again"! Wow, it has almost been 3 months since my last post, I have had several people tell me they have missed my blog, nice to be missed! I thought I would post today for those who may be able to relate to my crooked and windy path. I realize that I am not the only one that sets out on a path, only to take endless detours, tripping, falling and skinning one's self. Life is like an obstacle course, beware!!
I will be honest with all of you, I stayed away from my Blog because I felt like I had become too vulnerable. I was feeling like a failure and that I had let some of you down. I further felt like I had backed myself into a corner. Also, one misguided comment from a dear friend made me question myself altogether. So, as I sometimes do I crawled into a hole and went to a dark and scary place. I sincerely share this with you because I know there are people who can relate, I am not alone. The hole was of my own choosing. In the hole the voices came back to haunt me, "you are a failure", "you can't do anything right", "you don't deserve to be slim", and on and on and on!! I began overeating because that is HOW I have learnt to cope with undesirable thoughts and feelings. Overeating for me ALWAYS leads to low self esteem and self loathing which then sends me back on the hamster wheel for one more round.
One day with guts and grit, I jumped off the hamster wheel, believe you me it took every bit of effort I could muster cuz I certainly wasn't feeling it. I chose to jump for survival and because I believe in myself and my potential. Consequently, because I did more then a few rounds on the hamster wheel I had gained some of my weight back. In the end, that does not matter, only today and the future matter. SO I have spent the last few weeks analyzing what I need to do differently. I realized even though I am not naturally self disciplined I manage to be very disciplined, organized and efficient in my business. Could I not apply those same TOOLS on my journey to become healthy. I pulled my business apart piece by piece and I realized I had methodically built in systems within my real estate practise that ultimately have led to a thriving and successful business. If I could do that in my business, I could also BUILD systems to regain my health. In the next week or two I will share the systems I am putting into place but here is the first one that has helped tremendously. I have listened to a CD in my car without exaggeration at least 100 times in the last few weeks. The CD is to do with my self worth, being kind to "me", being mindful, being present and being gut wrenching honest. It has amazed me but each time I have listened to it I glean something new. Interestingly enough the VOICES in my head have changed, they are now kind, compassionate, gentle and loving.
I am not giving up, I have dusted myself off and I am back on the horse. Many of you have continued to love me through "thick and thin", that is the sign of true friendship. Talk to you again in a few!!
No comments:
Post a Comment