"Spoiled little girl" versus "Grown up girl".

We have all heard the expression it is not about the "destination" but it is about the "journey". And although I long to be a healthy 120 lbs, look like a model and wear a bathing suit with confidence, deep down I know, it REALLY is about the journey. The journey either will make me or break me. Difficulties actually give my life substance and meaning. Obstacles can be blessings in disguise. In physical exercise you need resistance to build muscle. In the same way I need resistance, obstacles and difficult times to build my muscles that are needed to lose my weight and keep it off for a lifetime. I long for a "quick fix", take a pill  before I go to bed and wake up looking drop dead gorgeous and curvy, or take a pill and still be able to eat anything and everything I want. I want life to be easy peasy but in my "heart of hearts" I know, I will only have purposeful meaning in my life by going through the difficult times and developing my own will power, determination and discipline. I am looking for meaningful purpose and it is not found by a life of ease without resistance or obstacles, it is found in conquering our fears, challenges and taking risks. In the past I have thought of myself as a spoiled child, wanting everything wonderful but without the cost. I have often found myself with the inability to say "no" to food or anything I desire, after all I deserve it and I want it NOW. Yet, on the other hand I have a hard time saying "yes" to eating disciplined and exercising. Sounds like a "spoiled little girl" to me. Time to grow up and continue on my journey. Without any kind of a quick fix, I continue on with grit, determination and discipline. These last weeks have been difficult but that IS what will make me strong. Tomorrow, I run/walk my second 5K, I am thrilled and I know the "spoiled little girl" will want to quit at some point but the "grown up girl" will survive and be victorious. I am 45 lbs lighter and continue to "get comfortable" with being "uncomfortable".